My heart’s aching, its not whole. And I have no words.
Life seems to be moving in slow motion but it can’t stop.
I block out the feeling to get work done.
Only to have it come back, full force as soon as I take a second to breathe.
Why did God call Naz home?
Why last Thursday, did the incident play out like it did?
A random act of extreme violence leading to her death and that of another man.
My heart aches and I don’t know what to do
Why was it right before my first teaching Mission U
When it was those School of Christian Missions years ago
That I met her. Sister Naz with her smile, dedication, and love for dance
Where she continued to encourage me each and every event
Just try and dance, you’ll get it. Keep Smiling!
I’m struggling to find a smile.
Never got the chance to tell her thank you.
For the encouragement, about how dancing has become such a part of my mission story
How trying to remember the simple steps behind Sister Naz with her brightly coloured outfits
Were laying a foundation for my transformation years later
Never got the chance to say God Bless, again.
As she told the stories of her people, her homeland through dance
Sister Naz, the sweet soul at UMW events in WNCC for a few years
During her service at Brooks Howell Home, always willing to share a dance
Share a thought, a smile, a meal, a piece of advice
Gone so suddenly, without warning, without thought
My soul is struggling, my heart aching
I don’t feel whole
As I hold on to memories from the events years ago
Things just don’t make since to me
Cutting through my since of semi-stablity
Reminders to Just Keep dancing, keep trying, and Keep Smiling
Dance that has given me a voice, voice to speak out for injustice
My heart’s aching but I don’t feel alone
Surrounded by a supportive community
Reminders that I’m not in this alone
That even when it doesn’t make since, Mother God is holding me close
Not leaving me alone.
My heart is aching, its not whole
And I’m not sure when the ache will stop
Because It doesn’t make since
Why was it Sister Naz? Oh God, life doesn’t make since
Why Sister Naz? Why Lynn?
Yet, why do I somehow feel like I’m closer to God.
She’s carrying me through, until
The ache is less and things are again stable with my soul\
Naz was a UMW Deaconess and to read the memorial published on their site. Click here
Living by God's Grace: Serving God, serving the people 
Praying for solace, thanking God for reminders and gifts.
So unbelivably sad. Thank you for your words. Praying for peace and comfort in this world of often senseless violence. God bless you Joy.
DEAR JOY, WAS SO SAD TO HEAR ABOUT NAZ. I KNOW YOU WILL BE STRUGGLING FOR ALONG TIME TO UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAPPENED. YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST GOD. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. I HOPE HER MEMORY WILL CONTINUE TO ENCOURAGE YOU. SHE WIL L ALWAYS BE A PART OF YOU AND WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR HEART. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU AND ALL OF NAZ’S FAMILY AND FRIENDS. LOVE YOU LOTS, AUNT JUDY
________________________________