Her comment continues to ring in my head as it had since she first made it last week. “We Cry, we Mourn, we Continue to Work and we Hope.”
But what about when we skip a step or life continues to happen. As I took a few moments to pause Wednesday evening to “remember and re-member” I realized how broken I was. Not physically but I was torn in places I hadn’t even realized mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And I didn’t even know where to start admist the brokeness to begin to heal.
Two weeks…half a month.
Half a month of the 110th anniversary celebrations of the church I currently attend. Of crazy planning events, festivals, and worship services. Liturgies to be written, people to be contacted, food cooked and bulletins printed and somewhere at some point.
Two weeks since Typhoon Haiyan, the strongest storm to ever make landfall, hit the central Philippines, leaving likely over 10,000 dead, 15 million people affected in the country of the philippines alone, close to over 600,000 people displaced and over 150000 homes destroyed.
Half a month since we jumped feet first into relief efforts, press conferences, candlelight vigils, media interviews and fund raisers.
A week since the council of Bishops of the United Methodist Church issued a statement finally admitting that the UMC doesn’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to LGBTQ and yet calling for charges of one of their own, a retired Bishop, to be brought for conducting a wedding of two men. Why does the church continue to prosecute, continue to claim openness to all of God’s children and yet deny it so blatantly.
Just days since the UMC convicted a Pastor for marrying his son and his son’s partner. Where is God’s love when fathers aren’t “supposed” to love their sons and honor their wishes? What example are we setting? How can a church deny God’s love and grace to a certain population of God’s children, instead letting the evil of the world come into play? Friends of mine are leaving the UMC moving on to other denominations that truly do show God’s love to ALL of God’s children.
Two weeks since it seems the world stopped asking “how are things with your soul?” because the answer would just delay the work that needed to get done.
As I reflected, I realized how I was broken and that in those moments it wasn’t about the ability to continue to work or even to find the hope that was there because I first needed to mourn. Then I would be ready to find hope. In the moments, i did just that, I cried and I remembered sitting around an open table, why I’m still here. Why I continue to call myself a Christian and that in supportive community if you don’t know all the details in the brokeness we can and do support each other and if nothing more that is something to bring hope.
I thought I wondered, has there been space in the past two weeks really taken time as a community to mourn, and to cry. How often do we forget the importance of those two things together in the “speed of life” which is life here in the USA? In the moving onward and upward mindsets, when showing emotion can be considered weak by some? We’re all involved in really important work that is truly saving lives around the world. But where in it all have we taken time for our own lives. The hope is there, its there in the community, in the updates and in the events. The continuing to work is there, thats not a question, and theres a lot of good work going on.
Now as we remember then re-member the body of Christ for everyone, the process may look different but we need to be open to letting people “re-member” however they will and support each other along the way.
So tomorrow or well today is Friday, its been two weeks. And no I don’t have everything ready that I should but I’m trying to be okay with that. Because its a point I can learn from and use to grow from. Now to find time to cry and to mourn then to continue working and to have hope.